3.3.06

It's March?

And I'm leaning on this broken fence
Between past and present tense

I've been hit by a major case of the end-of-winter blahs. Those ones where you can't wait for spring to begin and winter to end. Those ones where you know that you should be doing something, anything, but decide to go to bed because you can't handle being awake for any longer than you have to. Those ones where you hate life because you just put a hole in your last pair of black tights. Those ones where everything happens for a reason. That reason? To make your life miserable.

While the end-of-winter blahs normally lay me medium (as opposed to low), they've been exacerbated lately by beginning-of-chapter angst. My penultimate chapter is in the hands of my advisor, who just left town to give a talk. So now I'm facing my final chapter. Did you just read that too? My final chapter. MY FINAL CHAPTER! I apologize for the excitement. I don't think that it's sunk in yet; the fact that I'm now working on my FINAL chapter.

Although I've always had a basic outline of the diss, along with an intro that shall be rewritten soon, the earlier chapters morphed while I was writing them, which meant that every time I began a new chapter, I had to reconsider what I was doing. My framework also shifted and I had to fit each new chapter into the new (and improved!) framework. Everytime I began a new chapter, there was a sense of panic, like the one I experienced yesterday but not as intense as the one I experienced yesterday because, did I mention that this is my FINAL chapter?

The subject of my FINAL chapter didn't initially appear to fit but it had more to do with me thinking that he wouldn't fit than with him not actually fitting. My angst and panic were remedied by a long chat with Ptichka this morning. All angst and panic is usually remedied by a long chat with Ptichka. I don't know why I stew for so long, when I really just need to talk to my wife about whatever's bugging me. Why do I think that I'm going to get an "I told you so" later tonight.

With beginning-of-chapter angst gone, I can now focus fully on the-end-of-winter blahs, when I'm not busy writing my FINAL chapter. It's March and we're due for another ninety days of cold weather. I don't think that I can wait until mid-May for spring. I don't live in Manitoba. It hasn't been particularly cold here in Toronto this winter but it has been grey, which is worse than cold. I'm so sick of waiting. It's making me restless and I can't think of a cure other than working out twice a day, seven days a week, which will just make me tired. And then I'll sleep and not have to focus on the fact that I'm ansty for spring.

So, what do you do to cure the winter blahs? I'm at a loss.

Did I mention that I'm working on my FINAL chapter? :-)

There's nothing below the fold.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

I have those blahs too. Can I call up there and have Pitchka talk to me too>

yay for the final chapter! Where is that jumping dweeb when you need him. I can't believe you are so close to being finished. Go zhenia!

ABDmom said...

Congrats on the final chapter!

I'm in the throes of "beginning the chapter panic," so I very much appreciated this post.

Odilon said...

Sarah: Maybe I'll rent out Ptichka. I'm sure she won't mind me pimping her...

Yeah for final chapter but Oh. My. God! What am I going to do when I'm done? Other than have a fancy pants dinner party?